Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Generic Q&A after breakup.

It genuinely doesn't matter how much you pour your heart to someone; if that person doesn't respond it mean it's over...
We hear generic questions and answers regarding when people break up...
After that initial question - what happened ? 
Then the following generic things you will receive from different forms of people...
  • You can do better
  • Don't let yourself look like a mug
  • You got to stop messaging her/him, she/he needs his/her time 
  • Your too good for him/her
  • Your attractive... you can get any guy/girl you want...
  • Maybe she/he feeling the same towards you...
  • Just dead it.
  • Don't find him/her if they want you they will have their ways coming to you.
  • That person needs to do hell a lot to get you back.
  • Why you let yourself get mistreated?
  • It's going to hurt now, but time is an essence and will heal you.
  • This is the ideal way to let go of each other.
  • Don't be foolish you know it won't be marriage material.
  • He/she played you, let it go. 
  • What was so great about them?

i'm sure there is plenty more that have been said... 

What on my mind why can't that person you end it with won't be able to communicate the correct information. Instead of receiving different forms of realities and giving somewhat of a hope, if not hope a reliance on what someone else said... to hope they would tell you the words you'd like to hear... 

I'm pretty sure at end of any relationship; there is someone each individual will go too. They will shoot you in the foot with harsh truth or generic information that you've heard time and time again..

Why do our heart? Soul? Mind? Let this simmer and marinate in our mind that something could be done out off this...
Seriously when people say communication is the key in a relationship, well communicate even if it's ending and being brutally honest than not saying anything at all... could be the best solution... 

but who is willing to say it first? why disappoint that a person that was important to you? why be a coward to shy away? 
there are so many questions that will go in that person head if nothing is cleared... 

i hope people are strong and say what they mean, respond what they want to and not be a coward and shy away from the truth...

Cmpang x 

Thursday, 12 January 2017


Why is that when i open a New Post; i don't seem to know what to type?
Why is that i get myself into random situations?
How would i describe myself?
What am i actually passionate for?
What are the biggest things you've learned so far?
What is my top priority now?
Why is it that when i'm falling for someone the person will leave?
Why is it that my bank isn't an amount that i'm satisfy with?
Why haven't i actually got my driving licence yet?
Why is it that i was born with one kidney?
Where would i travel if i can? 
Why is it that i'm easily please?
Would i even like the job that i'm about to on-take?
Why is it that i always doubt myself?
What is my actual ideal career? 
Why is my favorite colour?
Why do i trust people so easily?
What can inspire me?
Why is it that i will contradict myself sometime?
Why is it that i'm blunt and honest sometime?
What can i do this summer?
Why is it that sometime i like to think way far ahead of time?
Why do i always overthink things?

Just thoughts that been in my mind...
Cmpang x 

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

Happy Twenty Seventeen

Dear You,

Welcome to Twenty Seventeen!

Yet again it's nearly been a whole year and i haven't typed on here. When entering this page and seeing this screen its kind of a nostalgic, I guess you can say it's therapeutic to type on here... takes me way back to the days when i typed on Xanga everyday when you type the content that you've done everyday...

Well lets rewind back to Twenty Sixteen. 

Actually Twenty Sixteen it has been a big learning curve for me; i've discovered a lot about myself. I finally quit the job that i've been in for three years. Then continued to find the next suitable thing but whilst doing that i was on fun employment. In 2016; i didn't really start the year with any resolution but i guess my only resolution that was to simple 'make an effort' did i keep to my words, i can only say i've done it to 85% haha. I don't mind i mean everyone does endless new year resolution and hardly keep them and i just had one to focus on.... 

make an effort - don't be lazy and don't procrastinate basically..! 

This is the time i like to take a little time to thank my friends in Twenty Sixteen that have supported me through difficult times. I didn't realise that how easy it to just make a slight effort to adjust my friendship with many people. Everyone that i met in twenty sixteen have influenced me in the greatest way, I'm really thankful for these people and I continue to grow my relationship with you guys! I'm happy that i can catch-up with some friends that are busy with their lifestyle and took a little time to see me. 

Towards the end of twenty sixteen i feel like i fell of the grid of social light; it gave me time to reflect on what i need to build on for myself. As i've been told that people just see my life through social media such as instagram/snapchat and this year i will try my best to meet and catch up with friends and not to be a lazy bum! Anyway some highlights of last year which i really enjoyed; and the memories that we share together has been incredible and wish to continue. 


Bye Bye Twenty Sixteen..,
Welcome Twenty Seventeen with open arms...

Cmpang x 

Sunday, 7 August 2016

Just a change.

Where do i begin?

Happy belated 2016, I haven't been on here for a while... well that partially a lie, i have wrote blogs but not really posted them haha. This year is my fourth year in Hong Kong, i am surprised i am still here and survived to tell the story....

Hong Kong is a city that really does grow on you the vibrant life style the lavish ways and the cheap street food. I guess there isn't a place that i've travelled to that is quite like Hong Kong. Although saying this i've come to a point in my life that i do ask a question is this a place where i want to remain? Do i want to travel else where? What benefit has this place for me?

Hong Kong is the city of lights, which actually is a city that never sleeps hence lights are on in offices etc. This place is rather fast pace that sometime i don't think i can even keep up with life, it can become pretty hectic, with the streets filled with people rushing to places. I guess i'm lucky that i live away from the city area, saying this though i don't even think sometime i have personal time to think because i have to utilise that time to sleep. I think ever since moving to here my dark circles has become noticeably worse as my mother says. I've barely got more than eight hours sleep unless i am ill.

So far... 

This year has been quite an emotional roller coaster, I guess everyone at the beginning of the year will have some expectation. People set goals, achievements and resolution to complete before the year ends, and there is me? I haven't really put anything in stone but too enjoy life. That being said though these two simple words is deemed quite difficult in Hong Kong to have a work balance and personal time to enjoy what you do.

Nevertheless so far.... I've been on several Hikes, a place where i can actually found inner peace and pushed outside my comfort zone to reach them places. The places i've been are just breath taking. I've met some new friends and rekindled old friendship. I quit my job and changed a career direction. Met family members that i haven't seen in a long time and generally trying to be happy.

The change...

From 2015-2016 I guess it is a time to reflect. What i've learnt and still learning is to control my emotions, it kind of sounds silly but sometimes i rush into things rationally and impulsively. Making friends with the wrong people, i mean everyone deserves a chance and sometimes i get vulnerable and it's true mistakes are made but i've always said never failure always a lesson. This was taught from a girl once was my closet friend. Everything i do i need to stop and think about it, saying this its a on-going lesson as sometime i can hurt people simply because my mouth is quicker than my brain and say things without a thought process, whether it's i'm under alcohol influence or my emotions.

This year has been a big stepping stone for me, i've completely changed field. This took a lot of courage and to step out of my comfort zone, from a peaceful 8-5pm work monday - friday, and added a very stable income to now an some what unstable schedule, environment and income. However saying this it is something that i wanted to do for awhile, and right now in probation period but the few days i've been working it has been thrilling and fun to engage with all walks of life in Hong Kong.

People that have met now or known me for years has expectation of me that i can achieve things. Honestly i don't have faith in many things and when they believe i can do it, it is a great honor. I guess in my heart that i don't want to fail and i step up to the challenge and it's my ego that drives me to do this.

So its true people change for two reasons: 
Either they learned a lot or they've been hurt too much.

CMPang x 

Monday, 23 November 2015

Dear Me,

I wonder how you really are? you seem so happy, cheerful and you let off a vibrant vibe when people meet you but i know... you aren't like that, your mind is twisted with thoughts that you are slowly trying to unravel. You will have them moments when your in crowds everyone is pumping and with joy and you see the genuine smile but you... you will come to some halt like a music video and watch everyone surround yourself with joy whilst you are their dwelling and being all sentimental and shit.

You ask yourself so often that why were you introduced to the word love? but love is inevitable you will love your family and friends, but this word always seemed to be thrown around so easily... You are a hopeless romantic and when it comes to relationship you just don't quite know how to handle it. You, you really need to pick yourself up and just focus on yourself... no matter how many times you've told yourself you haven't quite got the grasp of that.  Remember to love yourself, you need to focus on you.

You act so impulsively, when it comes to relationship... remember that when two people like each other it can just be that an solely that it won't transform into a relationship that you have pictured in your head. You've put such pressure on yourself that you lose yourself in thought, you drown yourself with "if" thoughts. You need to wake up and understand that 'what if' doesn't happen... you need to get your act together and feel less. Yes Feel less...but don't be ruthless and rude about it just learn to accept that this is life.

Remember what your comfort zone is to just type what you feel,  it doesn't matter if the whole world can see your feeling. You don't need to care so much just do what makes you feel happy?
Just post them post that has been on draft for the longest time, you will feel better... I don't want you to trap your feelings inside because i know you don't discuss everything single details with your friends and you would do it in your mind. But don't worry your friends won't judge they are there to support you give you in advice, you know who they are and you can rely on them...

Remember; focus on yourself and let yourself free.
don't dwell on the past and let things go..
Smile, and try to look at love from a different perspective.
Just remember sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows..

Love yourself,

Cmpang x

Monday, 28 September 2015

Social Platforms - Relationship.

How do you feel about social platforms?

Social platforms can be anything from anything you just directly post any information of yourself to the internet. The most popular social platform would be Facebook, as everyone in today society there isn't many people that don't use it. However there are fewer people nowadays that will oppose to the ideas of these social platforms as the more you post about yourself the confidentiality of yourself is disclosed to the public anywhere around the world. 

There are many apps for smart phones these days, living in Hong Kong it is inevitable that you would download a fair few. Popular ones such as Instagram, Wechat, Tinder, OKcupid, Skout and a recent one 17. These social platform are initially to find a potential person or just for casual dates. However nowadays with so much temptation around a lot of people would download to see who or what there is to offer, disregards of their relationship status. 

Relationship to me is a huge deal, i am some what you would call a hopeless romantic. However being in a country like Hong Kong,  relationship is very hard to come... i would always stay by seeing is believing but that quite naive in this country. I always have the best thought of someone, that they won't do any harm... I mean everyone would like to fall in love and hopefully that person would love you back hopefully without lies. 

However that isn't the case with all these temptation in this country there are a fair few that are in relationship yet still use these app. You can call it cheating? exciting? disrespectful? wrong? .. in my eyes yes it is disrespectful and off course who in acts in this doesn't really love their other half as they claim. you can say they just searching for other options i mean non are married, however before downloading these apps surely they would have a motive. 

As a users of some of these apps, i guess you should think of how the person on the receiving end would feel. It is a harsh world, you don't always get what you want and it would be painful to see that if someone falls for someone that is in a relationship and using these apps, and only to get their heart broken from someone that actually isn't even trust worthy. 

However i do have another theory, maybe that these people are really insecure with themselves and want another re-insurance from the other sex. If not then they are greedy and disgustingly selfish to enjoy the pleasure of one, two or three encounters. lying manipulative people that does this i don't wish well for them, as one day truth will prevail and sometime maybe it isn't the other person you hurt but yourself. Once the excitement has exceeded its limit how can you deal with yourself going back to your partner and feel no guilt no remorse, even more hurting another person. 

I'm sure not all bad things will happen with these social platform, I do believe that there is good that comes out of it. I mean there can't be that many bad people out there right? Although through these you can't really grasp their personality just through pictures, talk and exchange of words through apps. Meeting is the key, getting to know them and if you want out then you are entitled to it. 

Social platforms are inevitable with technology growing wide and more apps would be available it hard to resist these temptations...its part of society and we are society. 

Cmpang x 

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

S i n g l e.

Being single isn't the best feeling in the world, however coming out of a relationship you feel destined for loneliness. Even thinking of being by myself is quite sickening thought when you have people that are actually happy either being single or surrounded by happy couples....

Reality hits like a bitch sometimes,  sometimes being single it comes to me as a crime, as for me i will try to pursue something else to cover up that loneliness...other woulds say it just a rebound however i would think of it to try find that comfort zone within, missing that certain affection of someone to care for you... but all in all reality you are single for a reason and ever so quickly you will snap out of that behaviour and just give up on thinking of that as it hurts people around you and yourself...

The actual reality yourself trying to become more independent again, releasing stresses and trying to prove to yourself that flying solo can sometime benefit you...

Being single it also comes with a lot of 'free' time. I guess it actually the perfect opportunity to re-discover yourself. Its time to do something that you haven't done in a while... whether its to re-engage with your friends that you haven't seen in awhile or sign up for a class. Well anything is better than staying at home feeling bad, when sometime you can just get out of the house and start building a better you.

For having so much free time there isn't a need to compromise with anything but yourself. As even in a compatible relationship you would need to compromise occasionally and now that being single it a totally different scenario as you don't have to surrender to anything unless you choose to.

anyway if you are single or in a relationship, enjoy it whilst it last. Create memories for yourself and think on your behalf now.

so go enjoy yourself,

Cmpang x 

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